Okay, well... apparently television hasn't killed enough of my brain cells so I'm exploring other avenues. Most recently I've developed a rather odd fascination with techno remixes of popular songs. I've downloaded several already and have been listening to them all weekend. It's kinda fun and I can get away with it because my roommates aren't home...

It's probably good that I don't live by myself as a rule.

GAH. What a messed up weekend. The party was great but intensely bizarre on many levels. I got very little sleep (though more than I got on Halloween thankfully) and then drove to Farmington with Eliz who bought me coffee. :) Went to Aunt Barbara's funeral feeling both worn out and buzzed on caffeine, then drove FOUR HOURS to Boston to start my shift at Angell at 7pm. I called everyone I knew practically on the drive down just to keep awake and had more coffee and nothing else to drink so by the time I took my nine-thirty break, I had all the symptoms of a hangover and wanted to die. When I got home, I passed out and didn't wake up until 10:30 the next morning... and was still exhausted all day.

In conclusion... I need a vacation.

As I was driving home from work this evening I was inexplicably reminded on an incident that occurred in my english class during my junior year of high school. I now feel the need to write about it in a public place in order to vent seven years of frustration. I apologize in advance.

Basically, a class discussion was somehow centered around the concept of hate, I don't recall the context, and someone brought up the example that "everyone hates Hitler". This is my least favorite example and I made that known to the class by responding with a statement that, in hindsight, was probably inappropriate, which was: "I *don't* hate Hitler". Understandably this statement was met with silence, followed by some rather upset retorts. And what gets my goat to this day is that everyone seemed to jump to one of two conclusions, either a) i was anti-semitic or b) I was just trying to be contrary and get attention. In actuality, I was trying to make a point about blanket statements and the need to be precise when speaking about topics of extreme importance and emotional impact. I found it unbelievably disrespectful for a girl say she hated Hitler less than an hour after I heard her ranting in the halls about how she *hated* her mother, her brother, her current hair stylist and her brand of shampoo. Maybe I was being picky. But my point was valid, and still is. People should be careful with their language and not disrespect the millions of people who died under Hitler's regime, not to mention those who *survived*, by reducing our feelings on the matter to one four letter word that most people toss around at least once if not several times a day.

Of course, in the end, my real beef with the whole debacle was that I was never given the opportunity to explain myself. I think my teacher saw the lecture just waiting to burst forth from my mouth and changed the subject. He made some quick statement about semantics and moved on. Oh my god it irritated me. And then came the kicker. Someone came up to me after that... someone who will remain nameless, mostly because I don't remember who it was... and actually asked me to my face if I had meant that I "liked" Hitler. I think if I hadn't just finished a year of chemotherapy and wasn't still feeling rather weak, I would have punched her/him.

So. If anyone actually read all of that, I commend you. Actually, I feel kind of obnoxious posting it but it's "that time of the month", you know? No accounting for hormones.